“Hello, My Name is Mr. Happy and I have a Problem”

Apparently photos like this, ones showcasing dogs gone wild, are popping up all over the web and folks finding them funny. It’s funny unless that’s what you deal with every day. Welcome to the S Household and our life with Mr. Happy.  Mr. Happy has separation anxiety.  For lack of a better phrase, he has nervous breakdowns every day on the hour.  As a double rescue (first home was abusive and second home was with a family who didn’t want to help him), Mr. Happy didn’t have a stable home until he moved in with us.  It’s a pretty serious matter and The Chief and I have tried various approaches to deal with this issue (I’ll cover more in later weeks on this blog).

But for now, I want to give you a snapshot into a day in my life:

I turn the key and walk in.  Put down ACat’s car seat and our 900 bags and then turn to Mr. Happy.

When Mr. Happy greets me, here’s how I think things play out in his head:

Mr. Happy:  Hey Erin, so glad you came home. Here’s my duck toy, throw it, throw it, I NEED you to throw it.
Me:  Mr. Happy, why did you do this to the blinds?
Mr. Happy:  I really think your window treatment sucks. So I decided to jazz it up a bit with my teeth and claw marks. You like? Hmm, judging by that face, I don’t think you do. Oh well, serves you right for leaving me. Now back to my duck toy.
Me: Mr. Happy, what did you do to my bed!?!?
Mr. Happy: Well, you really need to speak with The Chief about how he makes the bed in the morning. He keeps taking all the pillows and blankets off the bed. How am I supposed to snuggle all day. I’m only sitting around protecting your home all day for no charge. At least leave me one of your fluffy blankets. I ripped the fitted sheet off the bed to get comfy.
Me: OMG, why are my socks wet? I stepped in dog PEE! Mr. Happy, can’t you use the pee pads?
Mr. Happy: I use the pee pads only when you buy the brand I like. Stop being cheap. Plus I peed because I was upset you left me.
Me: What in the world happened in the bathroom? I think I’m going to have a heart attack.
Mr. Happy: Well, you see what had happened was, I got pretty annoyed when you left me this morning. Mercury is in retrograde, so I’m all off. I decided to find the one place in the apartment where I could really leave my mark. You know tsunami level of damage, so you never leave me again.  While I was walking around looking for my mitten toy, I spotted the bathroom wall. And bam, the lightbulb turned on. If I rip out a tile and eat it, you’ll never leave me unsupervised.
Me: What! You ate a tile! What am I going to do? And why are there all these blue plastic things on the floor?
Mr. Happy: You mean my mitten. I ate it.  You want to know the best part of the mitten? The squeaker! And it’s logged right in my belly. Guess where we’re going?  Ding, ding, ding you’ve guessed it, time for a trip to the vet to get that thing removed! You and the Chief are about $200 from being the biggest suckers at the vets office. I hear you are going to get a trophy.

After reading this, I’m sure you don’t want Mr. Happy to come visit.   You’re probably thinking The Chief and I are crazy for keeping him.  We probably are crazy, but Mr. Happy deserves better than the life he had before us.  He completes us and we complete him.  Mr. Happy is here to stay. And if means I’ll step in pee puddles every day after work, I’ll do it for him if it means he can stay in a safe and loving home.

 

 

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